How to Win Wars and Lesser Battles

Update: I’ve completed my migration and am safely back in Northeastern Mississippi and adjusting again to genteel (and warmer) Mid-Southern life. Even though I’ll be enjoying the outdoors more here, that doesn’t mean I’ll stop writing…

How to Win Wars and Lesser Battles

Throughout history, people have appreciated clever leaders with a good sense of humor.

Hannibal of Carthage North Africa had defeated Rome by bringing elephants over the Alps to attack as literal war machines. Romans stayed terrified of elephants afterward so Caesar’s military reports sent home from defeating France included rollicking tales for how to hunt elephants. “They sleep standing up leaning against trees,” Julius said, “so you put two men on crosscut saws and pull back and forth in rhythm with the elephants’ snores. When the tree is cut, the elephants topple down, and we’re on them in a flash. Fallen elephants have a hard time standing up again.”

When his reports reached Rome, his conquests and humor became the talk of the town. He also sent home spoils to share among commoners—another inspired move. He invented the circus and free breadlines to keep the unemployed happy so they wouldn’t become rabble-raising mobs.

You’ve probably also heard of Julius Caesar, a Roman soldier of ordinary rank who rose to greatness and captured many surrounding lands. He said, “I came, I saw, I conquered” by using bold military tactics AND brilliant humor.

Julius Caesar knew that, too. He gave his soldiers final battle plans on the top of a hill. Their enemy would usually be on another hill across the valley. After Caesar explained the strategy, he had well-paid comedy writers deliver gut-wrenching jokes so that when commanders immediately pointed their lances and pennants downhill and yelled “charge,” the troops galloped into warfare roaring with laughter. Can you imagine the impact? History says that more than half the time, Caesar’s enemies turned and ran instead of engaging in battle.

It’s a point worth remembering in writing, politics, and life. Concentrate on remembering one of your favorite jokes today. Tell it to someone to brighten their day. Keep your ears tuned to hear more. Share one here to make us laugh, too.

Lastly, I’m pleased that Strong Currents, my WWII sequel to Books Afloat releases Nov. 29th and is available for pre-order now. Click on the book cover reveal below. This story has plenty of brain-challenging twists and turns.