Word Fruit Salad

Delores E. Topliff

We’ve all done it, gotten our words fractured and said the wrong thing. English clergyman William Archibald Spooner became so famous for his accidental tongue twists with unintentional comic effect, we now call them Spoonerisms. Thanks to fun-with-words.com, the column on the left shows what his hearers heard, often in sermons, and the column on the right shows what the reverend intended to say. After reading these, I’d be a blithering idiot, if I knew how to blither. Now please share the worst word tangle you never hoped to say—and have a great week!

For more blog posts and news updates, check my website, delorestopliff.com

fighting a liar lighting a fire
you hissed my mystery lecture you missed my history lecture
cattle ships and bruisers battle ships and cruisers
nosey little cook cosy little nook
a blushing crow a crushing blow
tons of soil sons of toil
our queer old Dean our dear old Queen
we’ll have the hags flung out we’ll have the flags hung out
you’ve tasted two worms you’ve wasted two terms
our shoving leopard our loving shepherd
a half-warmed fish a half-formed wish
is the bean dizzy? is the Dean busy?
know your blows blow your nose
go and shake a tower go and take a shower
tease my ears ease my tears
nicking your pose picking your nose
you have very mad banners you have very bad manners
lack of pies pack of lies
it’s roaring with pain it’s pouring with rain
sealing the hick healing the sick
go help me sod so help me God
pit nicking nit picking
bowel feast foul beast
I’m a damp stealer I’m a stamp dealer
hypodemic nurdle hypodermic needle
wave the sails save the whales
chipping the flannel on TV flipping the channel on TV
mad bunny bad money
I’m shout of the hour I’m out of the shower
lead of spite speed of light
this is the pun fart this is the fun part
I hit my bunny phone I hit my funny bone
flutter by butterfly
bedding wells wedding bells
I must mend the sail I must send the mail
cop porn popcorn
it crawls through the fax it falls through the cracks
my zips are lipped my lips are zipped
bat flattery flat battery
would you like a nasal hut? would you like a hazel nut?
puke on coupon
belly jeans jelly beans
eye ball bye all
fight in your race right in your face
ready as a stock steady as a rock
no tails toe nails
hiss and lear listen here
soul of ballad bowl of salad

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